If I don't keep tabs on myself, I slip into autopilot mode completing the monotonous tasks that continue to flood my way as part of living life. Crazy seasons add to tendency to slip; everything is moving so quickly that it feels as if there isn't time to think. There isn't time to evaluate or readjust our systems. We are simply surviving.
It's in these times that I'm easily irritable when tasks aren't completed quickly or efficiently. I have my head down so far powering through that I miss most of what is going on if it isn't in my path. In fact, I even struggle to allow my kids 5 minutes in between projects to play...
In between the crashing waves of more tasks, I've been able to see how we are living almost from a third-person perspective. I see us rushing, I see us always in a hurry, I see us continuing on this hamster wheel of life indefinitely. Then I'm able to shift my perspective back to middle ground. I can see I don't want to live this way. I want to see joy in my kid's smiles throughout the day. I want to treasure the one-on-one time with my husband even if it's while vacuuming out a mouse nest from the excavator. I want to be present for this life.
Reminder to self -- Find joy. Make joy. Create joy. It's all around us. I can accomplish my list being fully present, taking a breath, and living while I work toward completing my lists.
*After breaking the back window in the excavator yesterday, we finished cleaning the glass up as well as dirt under the floor mat, and a mouse nest... Kyle took it on it's maiden voyage to bust a stump out of the fence line. We enjoyed our first slow day since calving really got going six weeks ago.